


That's Showbiz, Babe

by Superfast_Jellybitch



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, M/M, Miscommunication, Non-Consensual Drug Use, idiots to lovers, tags will change, this is mostly self indulgent ngl
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-01-29 09:04:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21407665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Superfast_Jellybitch/pseuds/Superfast_Jellybitch
Summary: One would have to be truly stupid to slip something in the Radio Demon's drink, but hell is full of idiots and parties can be vile. It's a good thing that in addition to enemies, Alastor's made one or two friends.
Relationships: Alastor/Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel)
Comments: 99
Kudos: 778





	1. Chapter 1

Angel Dust had always loved big parties. He could be the center of attention, or hang back and disappear among the many faces, like he was doing tonight. Charlie (who hadn't known any better) had decided that a Gala was the way to celebrate the opening of her new pet project, and Alastor (who _had_, in fact, known better) agreed immediately. It had taken the demons in attendance approximately 2 minutes to pour a healthy portion of gin in each and every punchbowl, and by now they were brawling, and dealing, and grinding, and asking to rent rooms by the hour. It was the most fun Angel had had in ages, even if he was being good and just watching from the sidelines. Well, "good" was subjective, he thought to himself as he brought his glass of spiked punch to his lips.

A flicker of red pinstripes caught his eye from across the room, and Angel Dust settled into his favorite pass time, letting his lower arms rest comfortably on the bar. As much fun as he had teasing the guy, Angel much preferred watching Alastor. He was always so animated, so jovial, so...well rehearsed. Angel Dust figured the guy had about a thousand different smiles, and he'd carefully filed away as many as he could, memorizing their meanings and just how he'd produced each one. By now, Angel figured he could probably write a novel about the Radio Demon's various tics and mannerisms, were he the writing type. This was a relatively new display, however. The usual perimeter of personal space Alastor attempted to keep between himself and others was breeched by a number of demons without him seeming to even notice, and he bobbed his head and tapped his foot to a tune that certainly must've been different than the one playing, because he was so off rythm it was sad. So, Al was letting loose for once. Good for him! Angel Dust smiled, but couldn't shake the feeling of unease pooling in his gut. Something was...off. With a shrug, he threw back the last of his drink and went to investigate, thinking that with Alastor so atypically relaxed, at worst he'd be beaten, and at best, he might even get laid. Alastor spotted him coming well before he got there, face lighting up with uncharacteristic excitement. It only served to worsen that feeling of dread.

"Angel Dust! Good to see you, old sport! How are you getting on? Enjoying the chaos, I imagine!" The Radio Demon staggered up to him, far closer than he'd ever ventured of his own volition. Okay, that was it. Something was definitely wrong here.

"Hey Al! You feeling okay there buddy?" He asked cautiously, speaking just loud enough to be heard over the din.

"Never better! This is all such a beautiful fiasco, don't you think?!" Alastor said through garbled static, bouncing up and down on his hooves a bit and sloshing his drink onto the floor in the process.

The _drink_! Of fucking _course_! How could he have been so stupid? He was a _pornstar_ for Christ's sake, this kinda situation practically came with the profession. He grips Alastor firmly by the face, watching his pupils carefully.

"Hello there!" He chuckles, rather than pushing Angel back to a safe distance. "You're surprisingly strong!"

"Yeah, and you're most definitely high. C'mon, we gotta get you outta here before someone else does." Angel said, releasing Alastor's face with one set of arms and reaching out to steady him with a second. "Have you seen Charlie? Or Vaggie? or anyone with a lick of authority around this place for that matter?"

A cacophany of static and broken fragments of music filled his ears as Alastor thought, trying to remember so hard that his nose was wrinkled with the effort.

"Hm. Can't recall. When did your arm get around my waist?"

"Don't worry about it Al." Angel comforted, trying not to sound too pitying.

He was wary of Alastor when he was _sober_, but there really was no telling what a _drugged_ Alastor might do to him if he pushed his limits. All that lack of inhibition... Angel shuddered at the thought. As he did so, a red-sleeved arm slinked around his own waist, and he nearly jumped with surprise. The Radio Demon leaned into him, using the spider to support his weight.

"I'm not worried. Not worried at all. Who am I supposed to be looking for again?" He asked as he squinted across the crowd, eyes unfocused.

"Charlie and Vaggie." Angel supplied, beginning to usher him out of the crowd.

"OH! There they are!" A loud dinging followed this exclamation, nearly deafining him as Alastor pointed to where Vaggie was breaking up yet another fist fight. "What's my prize?"

"You get to leave here with your dignity still mostly intact." Angel said as they crossed the room.

"That's not a real prize."

"Yeah you won't be saying that tomorrow. HEY VAGS!"

The moth looked up at him, rage still burning behind her eyes for a moment before it flickers out at the sight of Angel Dust using 3 out of four of his arms to support a visably intoxicated Alastor. She quirked a brow at them.

"What's going on now?" She asked, no small measure of tiredness in her voice.

"Someone slipped him a mickey. You girls need to shut this joint down."

"Wha...Who in their right mind would _roofie Alastor_?!" Vaggie asked incredulously.

"Beats me, toots. That part's your problem now. I've got my hands full." Angel gestured with his spare hand to Alastor, who had apparently taken to counting the stripes on his jacket.

"Are you sure you can handle....that...by yourself?"

"Oh yeah. This isn't my first rodeo. Some people just don't like the idea of payin'. You just take care of things down here." Angel said before turning them around and leading the way upstairs.

"Ooooh where to now, my amenable arachnid friend?"

"Your bedroom."

"Oh." The static in his voice increased. "Terribly sorry, but I don't really go for that sort of thing, you know."

"No! Not like _that_! Yeesh!" Angel balked. "You need somewhere safe to sober up."

"Right, yes, that makes sense." A faint hint of embarrassment creeped its way into his voice that under any other circumstance, Angel would have celebrated as a victory.

He opened the door to Alastor's room using the key he'd pilfered from the demon's pocket on their way upstairs and guided him inside, shutting and locking it behind them. The last thing he wanted was for the creep who'd drugged his friend in the first place to come back and execute the rest of their plan. By the time he'd turned back around, Alastor had shed his coat and was lying horizontally on the bed, stiff as a corpse. It brought just a hint of an affectionate smile to his face. He walked to the bathroom, grabbing a wet washcloth and a glass of water before returning.

"How ya doin'?" He asked, sitting on the edge of the bed next to him.

"Odd." Alastor replied, picking his head up just enough that he could look at him. "My head hurts."

"Yeah." Angel Dust sighed, helping him to sit up before handing him the water. "Rohypnol can do that to ya. Fair warning, you might pass out here soon, and you might not remember any of this tomorrow. Now drink."

"How did you get to be so knowledgeable?" Alastor asked before downing the water. Had he always had a southern drawl?

"Experience."

"That's dreadful."

"That's showbiz, baby." Angel laughed, before considering that the pet name might not be welcome. "Sorry."

"It's quite alright. I know what you mean."

A faint static buzzing fills the room as they sat side by side in the dimly lit bedroom. Angel realized that this was the longest he'd ever been in here, and had the decency to squirm a little, wondering if he was overstaying his welcome. But Alastor didn't seem to notice. In fact, he looked and sounded deep in thought, staring into the empty water glass as if it might give him the answer to whatever question he was pondering. Angel recognized this particular smile. He was nervous. He'd made up his mind to leave, when Alastor finally voiced his thoughts.

"I don't dislike you, you know."

"Pfft. You have a funny way of showin' it, pally." Angel retorted defensively, before correcting himself. "But yeah, I know."

"In fact, I like you quite a lot."

Angel blinked at him, caught off guard. Surely that couldn't mean what it sounded like. And surely if it did, it was just the drugs talking. But he couldn't help the fluttery feeling in his chest that that arrangement of words coming out of Alastor's mouth stirred in him. Damn it.

"You don't mean that." Angel scoffed, crossing both sets of arms. "You're just high."

"I do." Alastor affirmed. "I've always liked you. It's just... well... you make me _feel funny_!"

His voice took on an accusatory tone towards the end of that statement, and he crossed his own arms, near perfectly mirroring Angel, who couldn't believe what he was hearing right now. If this situation were any different- well, hell, he probably _still_ wouldn't believe it. Angel Dust narrowed his eyes, looking down into Alastor's own.

"Oh yeah?" he sneered. "'Funny' how, Smiles?"

"Oh you know. _Funny_. That kind of feeling you don't really know how to place. I've worked out that it's a good sort of 'funny' though. Like 'ha ha' funny, but not quite that..." He trailed off, static growing in volume and intensity as he thought on it.

This wasn't happening. This wasn't real. This was just the drugs. Soon he'd pass out and Angel could pretend like this never happened. But for now...since Alastor wouldn't remember any of this anyway....why not go ahead and play along? It's not like he'd be hurting anyone other than himself, anyway.

"Heh. Almost sounds like you got a crush on me." He suggests, half joking, half hoping.

"THAT'S IT!" Alastor shouted so loudly it sounded as though he were going to blow a nonexistent speaker. Angel nearly jumped out of his skin. "I have a crush on you!"

There it was. He'd said it. Angel panicked, scooting over on the bed to put more distance between them. This wasn't supposed to happen. It wasn't supposed to be real.

"Whoa whoa whoa I was _joking!_" Angel Dust backpedaled. "You can't have a _crush_ on me! You said you were Ace!"

"Asexual. Not aromantic." Alastor corrected. "Thank you for solving my little conundrum. I fear I might've gone on pondering it for an...excessive amount of time, had I not been intoxicated."

Angel wanted to protest. To talk about it. But he reminded himself that Alastor really wasn't in his right mind, and probably wouldn't remember any of it anyway. Maybe if it came up again, sure. Otherwise, he'd play along just for tonight, and they'd both act like this conversation had never occurred come tomorrow.

"Okay. Alright. You have a crush on me. What uh... what are you gonna do about it?"

Alastor pondered for a moment, fingertip touched to his chin. Angel wondered if this had ever been something he'd pondered before, or if it was just brought on all spur of the moment like. This was certainly a shock to him, at least, but just because he didn't know about it didn't mean it was new.

"I think...for now...just this." He said, falling all too gracefully across Angel's lap, his head finally meeting the pillow. "I'm really quite exhausted."

"Right. Well, I'll leave you to it then." Angel stammered as he tried to wiggle out from under Alastor's torso, a faint blush rising in his cheeks. He hadn't even known he COULD still blush. "Check on you tomorrow and whatnot."

A clawed hand snatched one of his wrists before he could even make it to standing, pulling his upper body against the pillows.

"Stay."

It wasn't a question or a request, it was a demand. One Angel Dust would've obeyed even if it had been phrased differently. He relaxed on the mattress, crossing two of his arms behind his head and wrapping the other set around Alastor, who had nuzzled himself against his breast with a satisfied sigh. There was a low clicking sound, and then, silence, signaling that his companion had finally succumbed. He had to hand it to him for managing to remain mostly coherent the whole time, if a bit...extra static-y. Angel Dust ran his fingers absentmindedly through Alastor's hair, selfishly enjoying the intimacy even if it was, ultimately, false, and trying not to think too hard about how he'd have his insides turned into his outsides for this.


	2. Chapter 2

Angel Dust woke several hours later to an empty bed, panic sinking into him as he reached for Alastor and found only satin sheets. Had he been abducted? No, Angel had been very careful to lock the door. What if he'd stumbled out on his own and gotten into trouble? What if........The sound of running water broke his chain of thought, and he felt tremendously silly. Angel Dust walked over to the suite's bathroom, rapping the wood gently with his knuckles.

"Hey Al? You okay?"

"NeVeR....BeTtEr..." The response was garbled and out of tune, and it was more than enough to convince Angel of the opposite.

"You sound like shit. I'm comin' in." He declared, turning the knob.

The sight that greeted him was grim. Alastor sat on the floor, propped up against the side of the bathtub, knees tucked to his chest, head lolled back over the edge, and trembling from head to toe. Angel rushed to his side, getting on his knees to grant him better access. Alastor's eyes were glazed over with static, and his smile had mostly faded, something that worried Angel immensely.

"Alastor?"

"YeS dEaR?" His head snapped forward in a way that must've been dizzying, eyes coming back online abruptly.

"You think you can get up?"

"No. Not right at the moment."

"Alright, I gotcha." Angel wrapped both sets of arms around him, hefting him off the bathroom floor with an exclamation of "Alley-oop!"

"I think I'm over the worst of it now." Alastor said distantly, still shaking fiercely. "Thank you for your help."

"You're probably right." Angel agreed, laying him back down on the mattress. "And it's no biggie. You're kinda cute when you're helpless."

"Don't push your luck. I could skin you alive and use your pelt as a rug anytime the fancy strikes me." Alastor threatened, his voice sounding warped, like a vinyl record that's been melted out of shape.

"I dunno if I'd make a very good rug. Too skinny." Angel Dust chuckled, sitting with his back against the headboard. "Table runner, maybe."

Alastor's nose wrinkled in distaste, before letting out a discordant giggle that sent shivers down Angel's spine.

"You're too fluffy to be a table runner." He declared, cocking his head. "It'd be a terrible waste."

"Heh. Guess you'll just have to keep me around a bit. Till ya figure out what to do with me."

"I suppose."

They fell into a comfortable silence that stretched for so long, Angel Dust was sure Alastor had fallen asleep again. It was odd, being so close to him without being threatened, watching him relax beside him, close enough to touch. There was an intimacy to this; a vulnerability that neither were accustomed to, and it should've been gratingly uncomfortable, but neither could seem to muster up enough sense to feel it.

"Angel?"

The sound of his name buzzing through radio static snapped Angel Dust out of his thoughts. He looked down into Alastor's face, assessing the expression. Knit brows and downcast eyes, the smallest downturn in his grin. Nervousness. Uncertainty. The part of himself that Angel tries to ignore more often than not wants to brush his hair from his face and reassure him. He doesn't give it any more voice tonight than he does any other time.

"What's up, Smiles?"

"What all did I say to you last night?"

"Doesn't matter." Angel shrugs, trying not to let the memory of Alastor's face nuzzled into his bosom overtake him. "You were high. I ain't gonna hold ya to any of it."

"Humor me, Angel Dust." Alastor said somberly.

Angel took a shaky breath, pushing his hair out of his face. Well, this was it. The moment where everything broke. Where the intimacy would be lost and Alastor would go back to hating him and he'd go back to pushing his buttons and none of this would matter. As much as he wanted that- the familiarity and stability that they'd had before this began- he knew he'd miss this. Angel took a breath to steady himself.

"You uh. You told me you liked me." Angel Dust sighed, looking at the bedspread rather than Alastor's face. "That I made you 'feel funny'."

He stopped there, unwilling to continue at the risk of opening something up that he was unprepared to handle. Beside him, Alastor groaned, placing a hand to his forehead. If Angel didn't know better, he'd say the demon was blushing.

"Did I really phrase it like that? I thought at least I'd had a little bit of _class_"

"Ha! Sweetheart, you're lucky you were coherent." Angel laughed, ruffling his hair before he can think better of it.

Alastor looked up at his hand, nestled comfortably in his red locks, pondering its presence for a moment before wrapping his hand around Angel's wrist and removing it gently. He crossed his own arms over his chest, folded neatly. The softness of the gesture was surprising, and Angel found himself absentmindedly running his own fingers across where Alastor had touched him.

"I believe I owe you an explanation." Alastor sighed, eyes fixed to the ceiling. Slowly, he sat up, propping himself up on his elbows.

"You don't owe me anything." Angel insisted, secretly more for his own benefit than Alastor's.

"No, I do. So please just _be quiet._" Alastor's eyes flashed, and Angel resigned himself to silence. "Angel Dust, I've harbored feelings for you for quite some time. I don't understand them- or _you_ for that matter- but they're there."

"Alastor-"

"I'm not finished." He cut him short, glaring at him once more before picking up where he'd left off. "You surprise me. You keep me on my toes. You get under my skin without any effort, and....and I think I like it."

This was so much worse than hearing it the first time. At least the first time, Angel could have denied it. Passed it off as intoxicated rambling. But now? Now there was nothing he could do. Alastor held affectionate feelings towards him and they were _real._ What the fuck? _What the fuck?_

"Angel Dust?"

"What, am I supposed to have something to _say_ to that?!" He snapped.

"That's the idea, as I understand it."

"Well you DON'T!" Angel poked him square in the chest, watching as confusion dominated his features. "You don't understand it at all! Sittin' there, talkin' about having _feelings_ for me all this time! Do you hear yourself?"

"I understand if you don't feel the same but-"

"No! Shut up. Just. Shut. Up." Angel snarled. "I've been tryin' to get you to notice me for _forever_ only to get _violently_ rejected every damn time. That's our deal. That's how this works. You don't get to up and change the rules on me, especially not when you don't even know how to play the fucking game!"

"Angel Dust-"

"I said shut up, Al. You don't want me. You never have, and you can't just sit here and lie to me about it!"

Angel Dust swung his legs over the bed, turning his back to the Radio Demon. He'd had every intention of storming out, but he couldn't bring himself to leave. Wrapping all four of his arms around himself, Angel felt the telltale sting of tears forming in his eyes. Oh HELL no. Angel Dust rubbed forcefully at his eyes, as if forcing the tears back. He wasn't gonna let this bastard make him cry. He wasn't worth his tears. He went to stand, but was stopped by a pair of arms wrapping around his shoulders, the weight of the body behind him holding him firmly in place.

"I'm not lying to you." The voice in his ear was soft, spoken through the radio static like the dedication before a love song. "I do care for you."

"Yeah? Well I never asked ya to."

He'd expected his harshness to be met with offense. For Alastor to let him go, shouting something about him being an ungrateful harlot. To leave him like he's left every other sap who'd claimed to have caught feelings for him. 'Cause Angel Dust didn't go for romance. Hadn't since he well before he'd died. What was the point, anyway? All anyone wanted him for was sex, anyway, so why waste the time? But Alastor clearly didn't want him for sex. Somehow, that made it worse. The arms around him tightened, well and truly embracing him now, and he couldn't hold back the tears anymore. At least his back was turned.

"I'm not going to stop."

"I gotta go, Al." Angel declared, disentangling himself from the Demon's grip and making his way to the door as fast as he possibly can. In the doorway, he stopped. "Good luck with that."

Angel shut the door before he could even see Alastor's face let alone catch a reply. His chest heaved with panic and with the effort of crying, mascara rolling down his cheeks. Angrily, he wiped them away, but it was useless. The floodgates had been open. At least there wasn't anyone here to see him break down.

"Angel Dust?"

Fuck. He spun on his heel, coming face to face with the hotel's pretty little proprietor. Charlie looked up at him with concern in her eyes, sporting a few scratches across her face, no doubt from breaking things up last night. He should've tried to help more. Great, now he had another thing to feel like shit over.

"Are you alright?! What happened?!"

"I'm fine! Why don't you mind your own damn business, you nosey broad?!" Angel snapped defensively.

Charlie stiffened, clearly hurt by his outburst, but persisted. She was just like that, wasn't she? Stubborn as hell. Upset as he was, Angel had to admire her tenacity.

"Okay, so I can see you don't wanna talk about it right now. I can respect that." She said, an air of formality in her voice that was almost condescending. "Let's just change the subject then; How's Alastor?"

Oh that was a bad choice of words. It wasn't like he could get properly angry with her- she didn't actually know, after all- but all the reason in the world couldn't stop the well of emotion overflowing in him.

"Alastor is a fucking jackass and I hope he chokes." He thought a moment before adding. "And not in the fun way."

He didn't give Charlie the opportunity to ask the question he could see forming in her head, storming past her and towards his own room, two fists balled at his sides and still trying to wipe mascara tracks off of his face. This whole thing was fucking stupid. _He_ was fucking stupid. Should've just let Alastor get carted off by whatever demon had been stupid enough to drug him. Alastor could handle himself. Why he'd even thought the fucking _Radio Demon_ needed him... well, he was fucking stupid, and that was the takeaway. Angel slammed his door behind him, closing out Charlie and Alastor and Vaggie and anyone else who would _dare_ to ask after him, collapsing against it and sinking to the floor, his head in his hands.


	3. Chapter 3

Bottle of wine in his hand, Angel Dust made his way to the rooftop, the way he'd done since his teen years. The fresh air always brought him clarity, which he usually immediately drank away, because clarity was overrated anyway. He missed the stars. Oh sure, there were things to look at- on a clear night, you could see all the way to heaven- but it didn't hold a candle to Orion's Belt. He sighed, kicking his feet in the air. Why did he always fuck things up for himself? Why did he run from every chance he had to make his shitty little life even somewhat better? Angel Dust uncorked the bottle with his teeth, spitting the cork off the side of the building before taking a deep swig of the cabernet.

"....May I join you?"

Alastor's voice behind him startled him, causing him to jump in place. He whipped around, surprise in his eyes. The Radio Demon stood a polite distance away from him, his arms folded neatly behind his back, his smile wide and charming as always. Alastor cocked his head to one side, clearly awaiting an answer of some sort. Angel Dust sighed in exasperation.

"Geez, it's impossible to get any damn privacy in this place." He grumbled, mostly to himself, before tacking on; "Yeah, whatever. Knock yourself out."

Alastor sat primly beside him, smoothing his jacket down before folding his hands in his lap. He didn't say anything. Just stared out into the night, a faraway look in his deep red eyes. Angel watched him for just a moment longer than was appropriate, no longer sure of his intentions. He resumed his wine-drinking, still trying to look at him from the corner of his eye. He really was attractive like this- contemplative look on his face, crimson hair blowing slightly in his wind, ears turning to better listen to something that Angel couldn't hear.

"You know, you uh... you put on quite a show back there." Alastor said at last, a twinge of uncertainty in his tone.

"You makin' fun of me?" Angel Dust asked flatly.

"No, no, not at all." Alastor backtracked, the sound of a record scratching accompanying the words. "It's just...usually when one is that upset with me, I at least understand why."

"Alastor, I don't wanna talk about it." Angel Dust sighed, taking another swig from the bottle. "Can't we just drop it? Go back to normal?"

"No, I don't think we can." Alastor said, the slightest hint of irritation crawling into his voice before dissipating as quickly as it had appeared. "A bit like pandora's box, darling. Once you let it out, you can't put it back in, so. Might as well talk about it, right?"

"I already said I don't wanna talk about it, so why don't you just drop it?!" Angel snapped, crossing his arms over his chest petulantly.

Alastor went quiet, and Angel peeked an eye open to steal a glance at him, trying to determine the nature of the silence. Alastor's hands gripped the edge of the building tightly, his shouders set back in irritation. Angel had looked over just in time to watch the ever-present smile slowly slide off of his face. Oh shit. Angel felt his haughty stubborness melt away to apprehension, arms uncrossing and falling limply to his sides.

"You think this is _easy_ for me?" Alastor snarled. "Do you think I _wanted_ it to be this way? What do you think i'm doing this for, huh? To watch you squirm? There's a million other ways to do that that are much easier and less messy. For fun? Do I look like I'm having fun, Angel?!"

"No-"

"It was a _rhetorical question_. Obviously the answer is no. I just wish you'd stop acting like a selfish _child_ about this whole situation!"

"I'm scared, okay!" Angel Dust shouted back. "Is that what you wanna hear, shitlord?! Huh?! You _scare_ me, you overdressed cut of venison! And not in the intimidating way, either, I could care less about this shit-" He gestured vaguely towards Alastor's entire person. "You scare me because I don't _understand_ ya!"

"Perhaps you might, if you'd just _discuss_ this!"

"What the fuck do you think I'm doing right now, asshole?!"

"You're _yelling_ at me!"

"Yeah, well you started it!!!" Angel Dust exclaimed.

"WELL I'M STOPPING IT!!!" Alastor yelled back.

They fell into terse silence once again, Alastor making a show of 'buttoning' his already buttoned sleeves while Angel just blinked at him in surprise. He didn't think he'd _ever_ seen Alastor lose his cool like that, and he was feeling an intoxicating mixture of afraid and aroused. Sufficiently calmed, Alastor turned back to him, smile back in its usual place.

"Much better. Thank you." He said calmly. "Now. What in the 9 circles are you talking about?"

"I dunno..." Angel shrugged halfheartedly, feeling himself blush. "I guess I just... I'm not used to- well, any of this, really. Usually all anyone wants me for is sex, and I mean, who can blame 'em, really? It's all a guy like me is good for, anyway."

Alastor looked at him, brows knitted in concern. Almost hesitantly, he reached out and covered one of Angel Dust's hands with his own. Angel looked down at their joined hands, surprised to find them that way, before looking back up at Alastor. He...he was serious about this, wasn't he?

"Surely....surely you don't really think that about yourself?"

"Why wouldn't I? It's true, innit?" Angel Dust pulled his hand away gently, folding it with one of his others across his lap. "I just don't know what a guy like you could possibly get from dating a guy like me."

"Well you have 4 hands. Just imagine the different hand-holding configurations!" Alastor said in a chipper tone, doing a jazz-hands-esque gesture.

"...Are you makin' fun of me?"

"No, I'm just making an effort to lighten the mood. You're a very tough audience, you know."

"Nah, you're just not funny." Angel Dust smiled, before cautiously allowing himself to lay his hand over Alastor's. Immediately, the Radio Demon's hand turned palm-up, curling around Angel's almost excitedly.

"I'll make you a deal." Alastor near-purred. "You enter a partnership with me, and I will _prove_ to you that you are more than just an object."

"...Is that a promise?" Angel asked, cocking him a smirk.

"Most certainly."

"Then you've got yourself a deal." Angel Dust extended one of his hands to shake

Alastor looked at it for a moment, considering it, before grinning mischievously. He took Angel's hand, pausing for a moment as though he might shake before using his grip to pull him closer, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. It took him completely by surprise, and Angel Dust hesitated for a brief second before melting into it, his unoccupied arms slinking around Alastor's waist. This was absolutely a dream, and under no circumstances did he ever want to wake up from it. All too soon, Alastor pulled away, fixing Angel with a smug grin.

"You're good for kissing, too. That brings the count to at least 2 things other than sex." He said teasingly.

"Kissing don't count. It's just a gateway to sex." Angel corrected, not bothering to release his grip.

"It certainly is not." Alastor insisted, punctuating his statement with another peck on the lips. "See? I'm kissing you right now, and I have absolutely no intention of inviting you into my boudoir."

"If all you're gonna do is fight me, I'm calling this whole thing off." Angel Dust said, not meaning it in the slightest.

"You can't. We made a deal and I've yet to live up to my end of the bargain." Alastor grinned almost seductively, words fading into static as he leaned in again.

Angel Dust took him in gladly, kissing him even deeper this time. Already he was beginning to relax. It was nice to not have the pressure to put out looming over him each time they touched. Nice to just...be affectionate. Perhaps this time, he'd finally done the _right_ thing. Abruptly, Alastor pulled back, emitting a ding not unlike that of a toaster.

"I almost forgot! Charlie wanted to speak with you. After the whole hallway fiasco, she's worried you might do something stupid. And you have! But it is very nice, isn't it?" He didn't even give pause for an answer before plowing ahead. "Anyhow, I have work to get back to and _you_ have a princess to appease. Toodloo!"

And with that, he stood, starting back down the stairs and leaving Angel to stare after him, wondering what the hell had just happened. What the fuck was that weirdo on about this time? Angel Dust didn't feel as though he'd done anything stupid with this, except maybe running from it at the start. In fact, this may have been the smartest life decision he'd ever made. Eh, whatever. Probably didn't mean anything. Angel shrugged it off, heading downstairs to face the music.


	4. Chapter 4

It wasn't like he was _avoiding_ talking to Charlie, he was just making a concerted effort to not be in the same room as her. And not because he felt bad about blowing up at her- remorse _totally_ wasn't his thing- or because he didn't wanna talk about anything that had occurred in the last 24 hours (Although he was at least able to admit to that one.) Angel Dust had perfectly valid reasons for not-avoiding Charlie, he'd just have to think of them. Unfortunately, avoiding Charlie was harder than one would think, especially when she was so singularly focused on your recovery. NOT that he was avoiding Charlie. Because he definitely wasn't.

"Angel!"

Aaand that was it. He was caught. With a sigh, Angel Dust popped open the soda he'd gone downstairs to get. Might as well play dumb.

"What's up kid?"

"I've been looking for you all day! What happened to you?! Are you okay?!"

"M' _fine_" Angel said, voice dripping with artificial irritation. "Dunno why you're making such a big deal out of this."

She crossed her arms over her chest, giving him a look that could only be described as a pout. He couldn't stand it when she looked at him like that; all wide-eyes and dejected sighs. It made him feel...guilty. Reminded him that Charlie, for whatever damnable reason, trusted him. He quickly averted his gaze, unable to hold hers any longer. Angel tried not to feel very much of anything, if he could help it, but he was finding it a lot harder the longer he stayed here.

"Because you're my _friend_." Charlie said with too much sincerity. "And I've never seen you cry before."

""Friend', huh?" Angel scoffed, looking into the soda bottle, trying to see if he could spot patterns in the carbonation, anything to keep his mind off of...everything. "I thought I was your project."

"Can't you be both?" She asked. "You're my friend, and I care about you, and I'm helping you to better yourself, because I don't want to see you hurting."

"Yeah, and so you can use me to prove your idea holds water and isn't just a crock of overly optimistic bullshit."

"I'm not _using_ you!" Charlie gasped, hand over her chest.

"Why not? Everyone else does." He shrugged.

He could practically see the lightbulb light up above Charlie's head as things fell into place. Angel Dust glanced at her warily, unsure of what to expect from whatever conclusion she'd come to. Almost as soon as it had appeared, however, her triumphant 'ah-hah!' expression fell once more to concern.

"Is that what this is about?" She asked, before looking around as though she might be overheard. Charlie leaned in closer to him and whispered; "Did _he_ do something to you?"

"Wh- No!" Angel Dust balked. "Mind your own damn business!"

Was he blushing? Jesus, what was this? Fucking Junior High? He wasn't some catholic schoolgirl being cornered in the locker room by the popular girls- at least, not in this reality.

"Well _something_ must've happened!" Charlie exclaimed, clearly growing frustrated with him.

"Just drop it, okay?!" Angel Dust countered, gesturing wildly. "It doesn't matter!"

"If it doesn't matter, why won't you talk bout it? Hm?"

Angel stuttered for a moment, unable to think of an appropriate counter point. She had him there.

"Oh fuck off." He groaned, burying his face in one of his hands.

"I heard arguing~"

Alastor's voice came in singsong from the doorway. How long he'd been standing there, Angel couldn't say, but the demon was drawn to trouble almost magnetically, so he really should've figured on him showing up to complicate things further. If he was still alive, he might've worried about his blood pressure at this point. His presence made known, Alastor sauntered into the room, placing himself between the two of them, quite literally inserting himself into the conversation.

"Tell me, is it terribly dramatic?" He practically purred, placing an overly friendly arm around each of them. "You know I enjoy a good spectacle."

"Nope! No arguing here!" Charlie fibbed, gently twisting herself loose from his grasp. "Just a little chat between friends."

"Yeah." Angel smirked "We were talking about your little trip down the rabbit hole. Did you know you snore? It's the cutest little thing."

To his delight, the corners of Alastor's smile twitched down slightly, embarrassment flitting across his features before he stilled them in their usual composed position. It was always a thrill to get a rise out of Alastor, though for Angel Dust, that was rarely a challenge. What had Al said about it? Oh right. _'You get under my skin without any effort...and I think I like it.'_ The memory sends a proud thrill through him. Alastor shot a glare his direction and Angel simply smiled, beaming down at him.

"Wait, does he really?!" Charlie asked, previous line of interrogation completely lost to the excitement of learning her most intimidating friend might secretly be cute.

"Yup. Sounds like a tiny motorcycle."

It wasn't until it tightened around him threateningly that Angel Dust realized Alastor had never taken his arm from around his second set of shoulders. Boy this was going to take some getting used to, wasn't it? Claws dug into his arm, and for a minute he worried they might tear through the fabric.

"Now darling, if you're going to gossip, it should at least be about something _interesting_." He said, sounding bored.

"Yeah? Like what?" Angel snorted, before immediately regretting his outburst as Alastor's grin turned devious

"Why, I'm certain you must've told our dear Charlie about our torrid love affair by now."

"Your WHAT?"

Angel was fairly certain her jaw hit the floor, but he didn't catch much of her expression. He was too busy burying his face in one hand and forcefully shoving Alastor off of him with the others.

"Jesus Christ, Al!" He exclaimed "You can't just go around talkin' like that!"

"Oh? I'm sorry cher, what would you prefer? Shall I call you my lover instead? Or is _boyfriend_ more your style?" Alastor grinned, clearly reveling in Angel's discomfort.

"I shoulda left you to choke on your own vomit." Angel mumbled, face still buried in his hands. He couldn't look up. He didn't have the courage.

"But you didn't~" Alastor teased, looking rather like the cat that got the canary. "Your weaknesses are so easily exploitable."

"Wow. I can't BELIEVE I didn't pick up on it sooner." Charlie laughed, her nose wrinkling just a tad as she did so. "You've got it _bad_."

"HEY! Both of you, shut up!" Angel snapped. "The only thing I 'got' is a reputation to uphold. I'd never work again if word got out I was the fucking _Radio Demon's_ bitch."

"Is that the preferred descriptor, then?" Alastor asked, eyes heavy lidded and head cocked to one side. "My 'Bitch'?"

Angel glared at him menacingly, earning nothing but a cocky smile in response. God that fucking smile. He wanted so badly to just pull him in and kiss it right off his face. Leave the asshole breathless and wanting more. But that was probably what the sly bastard wanted, anyway- for him to completely lose his cool. That did seem to be the running theme with them, after all.

"Nah, your delivery is all wrong." Angel shook his head. "Anyway it goes, this-" he gestured between himself and Alastor. "Does not leave this building, capisce?"

"I think we get it." Charlie rolled her eyes, a good-natured smile on her face. "I'm just glad you're both okay. I know it's been a rough couple days for all of us."

"Yes, well that goes without saying." Alastor said quickly, just a hint more serious than he had been. "You seem to be improved as well, my dear. Those nasty scratches are healing quite well."

He stroked a thumb over them gently, beaming down at her. It's a brief gesture, but it's not lost on Angel Dust. He supposed a twinge of jealousy might be appropriate, but he's never been good at being appropriate, from wearing pants to school in the second grade to watching his self-proclaimed beau caress the face of a friend and thinking of how for someone who insisted upon a "five foot rule", Al sure didn't have any trouble touching others. Just another fascinating little quirk.

"Yeah, well, you should have seen the other guy!" Charlie joked, putting her hands up in a 'put em up' gesture.

"I'm sure he's much worse for the wear, my dear." Alastor said almost condescendingly.

"Ugh. Speaking of 'worse for the wear', I have to go patch a hole in the wall. If Niffty finds it....that's a fight I'm not so sure I'll win." Charlie groaned, already starting for the door. "You two _~lovebirds~_ keep out of trouble."

Angel pulled a face at the singsong-y comment, rolling his eyes. 'Keep out of trouble'. Yeah, right. They were in Hell for a reason. He watched Alastor roll his eyes, knowing that he was thinking the same thing.

"What the _fuck_ was that about?" Angel hissed, glaring in his direction.

"Just a little fun. Don't be such a poor sport, darling." Alastor said innocently.

"Right. 'Poor sport'."

Angel stood from where he'd been leaning against the counter top, strutting to where Alastor stood. He placed his lower hands on his hips- the upper pair folded crossly across his chest- and glowered down at him, the very picture of unimpressed. Was he overreacting? Probably. But at the same time, if this got out.... if fucking _Valentino_ found out...he almost physically shuddered at the thought. Maybe he _had_ done the stupid thing again.

"Listen, just...I need ya to keep this on the down low. Take it easy on the whole 'cher' shit, ya dig?"

"Why?" Alastor's eyes narrowed, the radio buzz in his voice prolonging the 'h' sound, filling Angel's ears with breathy crackles.

"Look just....please, Alastor." He sighed, entire body sagging with it, eyes cast down.

"Say no more." Alastor held up a hand as if to silence him. "Do forgive my transgression, it was not my intention to cause you harm."

He reached up to take Angel's face in his hand; not dissimilar to how he'd taken Charlie's only a moment ago, yet somehow even softer. Angel Dust smiled softly, placing his hand over the one on his cheek, light enough to not be confining, and turned to place a kiss directly in its palm. Alastor's eyes widened, his cheeks tinged a light pink- a gratifying sight. He jerked his hand back, straightening his sleeve and clearing his throat with a shaky spark of static.

"Well, that's settled then! No more public declarations of affection of any degree of seriousness." He said just a little too chipper, before adding in a far huskier tone; "I cannot promise you the same in private, I do hope you understand."

"I'm countin' on it, Smiles." Angel grinned.

"I do have just one question, however."

"Hit me."

"Do I _really_ snore?"

Angel Dust tossed his head back and laughed. Of _course_ that's what he was concerned about. The poor guy had probably been thinking about it this whole time, just itching to ask him for the truth.

"Yeah." Angel confessed. "You do. Not loud, though. Just a teeny little buzzy snort now and again. It's fuckin' adorable."

"Ah." Alastor said grimly. "How....terribly unfortunate."

"For you, maybe." Angel scoffed. "As far as I'm concerned, my ears have been _blessed_."

"Then, would you by chance allow me to bless them again this evening?" Alastor purred, seizing the presented opportunity Angel hadn't even realized he'd given. "If you don't mind, I believe I would like to fall asleep against you and remember it."

Angel Dust sputtered, internally wondering if he'd ever get used to being at the center of Alastor's attention, the only outlet for a previously untapped fount of affection. He concluded that he didn't want to.

"Alright, smooth-talker." He teased.

"Oh _cherie_...." Alastor growled through a faint crackle of interference, cajun accent coming in loud and clear, making Angel's head spin. "You have _no idea~_"


	5. Chapter 5

Weeks. It had been weeks since the evening he'd sold his soul to the most handsome devil in all of Hell and Angel Dust still felt as though he were walking in a dream. Alastor hadn't killed him yet, for one, or revealed that this was all a joke and he was stupid to ever believe he could be attracted to someone like Angel Dust, and those were pretty much the only endings to this he'd considered, so needless to say, he was pleasantly surprised. In his stunned happiness, Angel Dust had even begun to let Alastor hold his hand under the table, a rare moment of intimacy held outside the privacy of either bedroom. And that was something else entirely. If Alastor wasn't inviting him back to his room every evening, he was sneaking into Angel's in the middle of the night in his flannel pajamas, quietly pressing himself against Angel until his embrace was sleepily received. He'd never suspected that someone who insisted upon a five foot bubble of personal space would turn out to be so clingy. Not that he minded in the least.

However, he'd yet to venture outside the hotel yet. Angel Dust didn't think he could bring himself to. Not after he'd spent his stay here ignoring every text from his...employer. Not when he knew the goddamn roach was just waiting for him to set foot outside of the hotel so he could snatch him back up and punish him for going rogue. He knew Val was too chickenshit to set foot in the Princess of Hell's project and risk angering the monarchs, but the fact of the matter was that put him on a very short leash. Angel Dust spread out on the couch, wrapping a bold arm around Alastor's shoulders, beginning to relax for the first time that day.

And then, his phone rang. Angel's phone _never_ rang. He quite deliberately kept it on silent at all times- nothing like a buzzing ringtone to ruin a scene- so for it to be ringing could mean just one being was on the other end. He took a shaky breath, forcing the fear from his face and replacing it with an apologetic smile.

"Sorry folks. Gotta take this one." He said, standing and making his way out of the parlor, he turned around, tacking on a flirty; "Don't have too much fun without me~"

He tried his best to not run, pulling the cell phone from between his breasts with shaking hands. Shit. Shit shit shit _shit_. He stuffed his panic as deep down as he could, sliding the green "accept call" button and answering the phone with his signature attitude.

"Hey Voxxy~" He trilled, hands still trembling. "To what do I owe the honor? You want a little of that classic Angel Dust attention?"

"I'd love it, bx-bx-baby," Vox said in his broken static stutter, his face taking over the entirety of the small screen. "But word on the street is you ain't that kind of spider anymore."

"You're not just any client, Voxxy." Angel purred, trying desperately to steer him away from the direction he knew this was going. Delay the inevitable. "C'mon, why don't I come over and show you a lil lovin, huh?"

"Cut the shx-shz-shz-shit, Angel Dust." Vox barked, eyes flashing. "You know why I'm cx-cz-cx- calling, toots, and who I'm calling for."

"Yeah..." Angel's voice broke. "I know."

"You're not upholding your end of this bx-bx-bx-bargain, and Val's getting pretty damn px-pz-pissed. And you know what Val's like when he's pissed"

"I know."

Vox sighed over the screen, his hardened gaze turning soft. Sympathetic. He looked from left to right, as if to ensure they were alone.

"Angel, just between you and me- prisoner to px-pz-prisoner- you aren't gonna do anything stupid, right?" He asked in a hushed tone.

"Me? Doing something stupid? Never." Angel said, the smallest of half-hearted smiles. He'd hardly consider Vox a 'fellow prisoner', and he wouldn't trust the guy as far as he could throw him. He'd seen him in action and knew that he could be just as bad as Valentino if he wanted to be. Must be an 'Overlord' thing.

"I like you kx-kx-kid. Don't get yourself hurt." Vox warned, before the screen flashed and Angel's screensaver returned.

Angel Dust let out a sigh, collapsing against the wall. That went about as well as he was expecting. He knew he couldn't run away from his problems forever, but when Charlie looked up at him and congratulated him on how far he'd come....when Vaggie told him she didn't actually hate him, she just wished he'd be more considerate......when Alastor.....well when Alastor did anything....He thought that maybe he could run a little longer. Angel stood from the floor, composing himself and making his way back to the parlor...to his _partner_......He couldn't contain the smile that began to spread across his face at the thought. Angel halted just a moment, long enough to catch the sound of something particularly juicy. He ducked behind a column, listening in with the ear of a practiced eavesdropper.

"I don't know what your angle here is, but I don't believe this for one goddamn second." Vaggie hissed quietly from her armchair.

"To what are you referring? I've a lot of metaphorical balls in the air, so to speak, you'll have to be more specific." Alastor hummed in a bored tone of voice.

"This whole 'loving Angel Dust' schtick. I think it's bullshit. What I can't figure out is why? What do you stand to gain from leading him on like this?"

"Oh, _that_." Alastor said. "Well it's really very very simple. I, as I have established many times before, am incredibly, painfully _bored_, and what could be more interesting than toppling an empire!"

"....I don't follow."

"Come now, Vaggie, I thought you were the clever one." He tutted, the sound coming out almost like a chuckle. "Angel Dust is Valentino's favorite pet and most valuable asset. If I get his black little heart in my clutches, we could spark an entire revolution. A bloody, gruesome, glorious revolution. Think of it; Warlord against warlord, demons tearing one another to shreds, fans cheering and recoiling alike, and in the end, another glorious era in which Radio Broadcasting reigns supreme."

"Why would you tell me all of that?" Vaggie asked, voice uncharacteristically soft. "I could tell anybody. Charlie. Angel. The media. It jeopardizes that entire plan you just laid out for me."

Alastor laughed, then; a cruel, tinny sound, accompanied by a disembodied chorus of a long dead studio audience.

"Because, my dear. _Who would care?_ Charlie is so preoccupied with her project and the success she's determined it will be, that by the time she finally listens to you, there will be no stopping it. Don't think I haven't noticed the way she ignores you, poor dear. I've already wrapped Angel Dust around my finger, and you two don't exactly have a loving relationship, so good luck trying to convince him. And as for the media, well, I don't think you'd be welcomed back at that news station after that stunt your inconsiderate girlfriend pulled. So you see, Vaggie, I have no qualms with telling you this because-" His voice dropped to a threatening growl, the animalistic sound mixing with a particularly violent burst of static to produce a voice that was so clearly inhuman it made the hair on the nape of one's neck stand on end. "_**What could you possibly do that could stop me?**_"

"_Fuck_ you." Vaggie snarled in return, the tears audible in her voice.

Angel heard her heels clicking as she left the room, practically feeling the reverberation of it in the pit where his heart had been a moment ago. He raised a hand to his face, surprised to find it wet with tears. That was that then. He'd been right all along. Alastor had never loved him, and never would, and once again he was just a sexy little pawn. How the fuck did he keep letting himself fall for this? He'd have stormed off himself if he wasn't glued to the spot in despair.

"Always lovely chatting with you, my dear!" Alastor called after Vaggie, the chipper facade firmly back in place. It made Angel's stomach churn.

"You can't fool me, Alastor."

Niffty's voice piped up from a corner of the room, startling Angel out of his spiral. How she moved so quickly and quietly, Angel would never know, but at this point he envied the ability. Cautiously, he peeked his head around the corner, unable to just listen in horror any longer. Alastor jerked his head around stiffly, looking down at Niffty, who hadn't so much as looked up from her dusting, though, by all appearances, the room was spotless

"What was that, my dear?" He asked, brow cocked upward in curiosity.

"Oh you can lie to yourself, and to Vaggie, and to anyone else you'd like, but ya can't fool me." She said smugly darting to another piece of furniture and placing a glass on a coaster.

"And who's to say I'm lying?" He said darkly, the static heavy in his voice once more

Niffty stopped, which was unusual in and of itself, and smiled up at him, the corners of her eye crinkling in malicious glee. Angel could feel the discomfort radiating off of him even from his distance.

"You can't hide things from the help, Alastor. You can tell Vaggie he's a game to you and that you don't care, and she might believe you. You might even believe you. But I know one thing's for sure: You never used to use strawberry scented shampoo. Not until that Angel Dust character said something about it."

Angel Dust didn't even have time to react to that bit of information before he's deafened by a blast of microphone feedback so loud that it shattered every window in the room. He collapsed onto the floor, holding his ears. When the sound finally faded, he found himself on his knees in a heap on the floor, surrounded by shards of shattered stained glass.

"You're such a drama queen." Niffty tutted, already sweeping up glass. "_Look_ at this mess!"

Alastor did not, in fact, look. Instead, he stood on shaking legs and walked stiffly out of the room. His eyes locked on Angel for but a brief moment, an acknowledgement of his presence, and in them he saw something else he'd never dreamed Alastor capable of: Abject terror. Without a word, he continued calmly on his escape route, hooves clicking sharply against the floor. The thud of footsteps down the staircase made Angel look up. He was vaguely aware of how silly he looked, collapsed on the floor, glass shards all around, mascara tracks drying down his cheeks. Charlie looked at the scene before her, eyes darting from Angel, to Niffty, to her destroyed parlor.

"What the _fuck_ just happened?" She asked, panic in her voice.

Angel blinked up at her, unable to come up with anything beyond a shaky; "I...don't know"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyyyyyy the plot finally showed up!!! Now if only someone would tell Angel Dust about waterproof mascara.....
> 
> sidenote: Last chapter we his 69 comments, and guys, I'd like to say, from the bottom of my heart: _Nice_.


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